The Feel Good Wedding Podcast by Polka Dot Wedding
The Feel Good Wedding Podcast by Polka Dot Wedding
#15 The Engagement Ring Guide With Jasmine Fraser
Engagement season is upon us! In honour of that, we’ve put together this engagement ring guide with Melbourne jeweller Jasmine Fraser .
She’s been in the biz for 16 years, carefully handcrafting custom jewellery for special occasions. Her grandfather owned a jewellery store, so Jasmine’s love for gems and trinkets started at an early age. In fact, she went to trade school right after high school. Jasmine describes her pieces and signature style as “timeless, but with a contemporary edge”.
In this chat we discuss:
- Customizing an engagement ring
- Ready-made vs custom jewellery
- How to choose the right jeweller
- The four C's of diamonds
- Sourcing ethical jewellery
- How to surprise your partner with a ring
- Remodelling rings
- Matching engagement rings and wedding bands
- Proposing without a ring
Where does one begin in choosing an engagement ring? To start, it’s a good idea to put together a mood board of styles that you and your partner like. Oftentimes, a common theme will stand out that will help narrow down your choice.
Some people prefer picking out a ready-made piece because they can immediately try it on. With custom rings, you can be very detailed with how you want it to look. This is why it’s important to work with a jeweller that shares the same aesthetic preference as you, and whom you can trust.
If you’d like to remodel an old ring, the jeweller will first have to examine if the material is suitable. Whichever option you go for, keep in mind that an engagement ring can someday become a beloved family heirloom that you’ll want to keep for generations.
Find Jasmine Fraser Jewellery:
On Polka Dot Wedding: Jasmine Fraser
On Instagram: @jasminefraserjewellery
Find Dorothy & the Polka Dot Wedding team:
On Instagram: @polkadotwedding
On the website: polkadotwedding.com
For full transcript and show notes visit: polkadotwedding.com/podcast
Wedding pro? Join our membership here.
The Polka Dot Wedding team is honoured to conduct our work on the land of the BoonWurrung, WoiWorung, Eora and Kuring-gai people. We honour the traditional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders custodians of the land and pay our respects to Elders past & present.
00:02
Hello and welcome. You're listening to the Feel Good Wedding Podcast by Polka Dot Wedding. My name is Dorothy, otherwise known as Ms Polka Dot, and I'm the founder and editor. We believe in seeking out content that is inclusive and diverse so that everyone can see themselves in the stories that we tell. We've done these for 15 years through the written word, and now we want to have those chats in voice through a podcast. Can't wait to take you along for the ride.
The Polka Dot Wedding team is honoured to conduct our work on the land of the BoonWurrung, WoiWorung, Eora and Kuring-gai people. We honour the traditional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander custodians of the land, and we pay our respects to elders past and present.
Pop the champagne because today we are kicking off season two of the Feel Good Wedding Podcast and we have an amazing guest to bring to you today.
Did you know that between December and January is when most couples around the world get engaged? And so we thought, "What better way to kick off 2023 than to talk engagement rings?" Because although engagement rings, you think, "Oh, I just want something pretty," there's actually a whole lot more to it. There's the four Cs. There's ethical jewellery. There's remodelling rings. There's choosing a ring when you don't even know what the recipient wants.
So we invited Melbourne jeweller and Polka Dot Wedding member, Jasmine Fraser, along for the ride. Now, Jasmine is an amazing jeweller. She makes all her pieces in her studio in Melbourne and she has this beautiful way of doing modern and traditional and stunning pieces that really tell the story of the couple she's working with. Who better to ask to join us today to talk everything we need to know about engagement rings than Jasmine? She has so many amazing tips. We're really looking forward to you listening to this one, so let's dive on in.
Hello, Jasmine. I am so thrilled to have you join us today.
01:59
Jasmine:
Thanks for having me.
02:01
Dorothy:
I want to dive in first and have you tell us all about yourself and what led you to become a jewellery designer and maker.
02:07
Jasmine:
So I have been fairly fortunate my family has been in the industry. My great grandparents had a jewellery store, so I guess I was quite exposed to it from a young age and that led me down the path, although I never worked within any sort of family business. Just been exposed to it. Went to trade school straight out of high school and just yeah, I've never done anything else.
02:37
Dorothy:
What led you to start your own business?
02:41
Jasmine:
I'd been sort of working somewhere for a little while and thought maybe now is a good time. I guess that was pre-marriage, pre-kids, and all of that. Just take a plunge, so I started my business back in 2006.
02:55
Dorothy:
Wow. That's a long time ago. How would you describe that signature Jasmine Fraser style?
03:04
Jasmine:
A lot of our pieces are still very traditional. You still want them to have the longevity and be timeless, but also still with a contemporary edge, so using different colours and just adding small differences that keep those traditional feels.
03:21
Dorothy:
One of the things that's what I love about your work, is it does have that not on trend but modern design elements, but it does still honour the traditional classic pieces, so you know it's going to be timeless. Where do you find your design inspiration and the gems themselves? Is it from the couples or is it things that you expose yourself to?
03:40
Jasmine:
I love it all myself. I don't think you can be in this industry and not love gems. I think sometimes you just see something and you're like, "I have to have that", so I quite often have a bit of a collection in a way. Obviously, the couple definitely will have their ideas of what they like. I guess that's a big part of the design process is sitting down together and understanding what their needs are and what they like and working together to make sure that they get what they want.
04:12
Dorothy:
Yeah. So we're talking all about engagement rings today. That leads on to my next question, which is kicking off how can we design an engagement ring that is truly reflective of us? How do you as a jeweller start that process off with your clients?
04:27
Jasmine:
Quite often, I think we're very fortunate now. We're in a world where Instagram and things like that, you can look at images and things like that. Quite often, that's where we might start with a client, just to get them to give us some ideas of what have you been drawn to, put a bit of a mood board together for us so we can look at that as an overview because generally, if you've got four or five images in front of you, there's a theme and then we can narrow down what is it that you actually like about these pieces and then which direction we would take for you.
05:02
Dorothy:
So it might be worth getting onto Pinterest even and making a Pinterest board?
05:06
Jasmine:
Absolutely. Absolutely because it's really interesting. You quite often can see that there's a direct theme in all the images in some shape or form, even if they're different pieces.
05:18
Dorothy:
And you custom-made pieces, as well as having a selection of ready-made ones in your store. When you're considering a ring or a piece of jewellery, what are the factors that you need to think about when deciding between custom-made or something that's ready-made and off-the-shelf?
05:34
Jasmine:
Yeah. I think the beauty of having something ready-made is that you can see it, you can try it on. There's that touch feel. Obviously, when you're having something custom made, you're putting a lot of trust in the person that you're working with to achieve the look that you're after. So we take that design process, we really take the time to ensure that we know what the client wants before we start the manufacturing process.
Sometimes, clients will come in at the halfway stage to see it half-made, just to ensure that they're like, "Yes, we're all on the same page," and the outcome is going to be right at the end. Buying ready-made is, like I said, a great option because you can try it on and you can see exactly how it feels and all those kinds of things, but then having something custom-made means that you can have a say in every aspect of it. The height, the width, all those things, which are little details that you're not going to get in a ready-made piece.
06:37
Dorothy:
How do I go about starting to find a jeweller that suits what I'm looking for? Because there are jewellers that do all kinds of styles and all kinds of settings, etc.? What aspects should I be looking at then when I'm looking to go to find my engagement ring or my wedding jewelry?
06:54
Jasmine:
I think you want to find someone that their style is along the lines of what you like. I quite often have clients come in and they say, "We've stalked your Instagram page. We like what you're doing." I think you definitely want to have that sense of connection in the design, definitely. You also want to feel comfortable with the person that you're working with. I think that there's a huge part of making sure that you're thinking alike, especially with a custom piece, so I really think you want to feel very comfortable with the person you're working with and know that they've got your best interests at heart.
07:33
Dorothy:
And we talk a lot about that when you're choosing your vendors, that you should be choosing vendors that you have a connection with, so when you're walking into a retailer or a design studio, is that part of what I should be looking for? Are there other things I should be looking for when I'm walking in and trying to figure out if this is the best spot for me?
07:49
Jasmine:
Yeah. I think you want to walk in and you want to feel comfortable. You want to feel welcome. I spend a lot of time asking about the couple. If I'm working with a partner on their own, I like to ask a lot of questions about their partner to get an understanding of "Okay, what will they want and how are we going to achieve that?" I think how you feel in an environment is very important when choosing who you'll work with.
08:19
Dorothy:
Yeah, definitely. Whether we're doing custom-made or purchase from a retailer, where do we start? I feel like whether you know what your partner wants in an engagement ring or you're purchasing for yourself, it's quite overwhelming to think, "Where do I actually start with this?"
08:34
Jasmine:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think again, coming back to the world of Instagram and things like that is looking for inspiration. I think that's just narrowing down, but on the flip side, sometimes what you think you want and then by the time you get to the point of trying on and then things like that, what you think you want is maybe not what you want. The other piece of advice I often say is try on as many styles as possible. Get a feel for different things on because sometimes you just don't know. What you think might work and then what suits when it's on sometimes is very different.
09:17
Dorothy:
And I feel like budget obviously also plays a big role in that because engagement rings can be hundreds of thousands of dollars to quite a lot cheaper. Where do we start with setting a budget and what do we need to think about when it comes to only budget for an engagement ring?
09:33
Jasmine:
Yeah. I think budget is a very personal thing. Often, people say, "Oh, you don't want to ask people what their budgets are," but you need to have a guide of where to start, even if it's a very rough guide. Sometimes I say to people, even if it's a really wide ballpark figure but it gives us a starting point, it gives us somewhere where we can show you things that are your lower end, we can show things at your higher end. Sometimes, those price points will change, but I guess it's nice to go into it with a little bit of a sense of where you'd feel comfortable.
10:09
Dorothy:
Can a good jeweller then help me adjust my budget? If I say my budget is this much, can they help me figure out what stones, etc. would work within that?
10:17
Jasmine:
Absolutely. Obviously, we would often sit down and if a client came in and they were saying, "We want a diamond and we've got this sort of budget," we show them the options that would fit and then obviously, potentially discuss alternatives, pricing-wise if we can offer something else as well. These days, I think clients are a lot more open to looking at coloured stones for engagement rings, so then price points are different again.
10:47
Dorothy:
Of course. When we come back to diamonds first, because I know we're going to talk about coloured stones soon, the four Cs, which is clarity, carat, and what's the fourth one? I forgot the fourth one.
10:58
Jasmine:
You've got cut, clarity, colour, and carat, which is the weight?
11:04
Dorothy:
Is there one that is more important than the other? What do I have to take into consideration when it comes to the four Cs? Are they that important?
11:13
Jasmine:
Cut is relevant to a round diamond. As far as anything other than a round, such as your ovals and your marquees, the cut grade is actually not relevant because there's too many variables in those shapes. The round, there's set proportions that the round should sit within to give you the most brilliance. Colour and clarity, again, they come back down to where do you feel comfortable, where is your budget. Carat weight is definitely a little bit budget-determined.
Often I say to clients, you can play around with the colour and the clarity to then give you different options on the carat weight. It's such a personal preference. Some clients prefer to keep everything on the high end of the scale. Some clients are prepared to look at other options to give them a little bit more size. Again, we often will sit down and run through all those different points to help the client work out where they feel comfortable.
12:24
Dorothy:
To educate me, the cut is the shape, which is marquee, brilliant, emerald, all the different shapes.
12:31
Jasmine:
Yup.
12:31
Dorothy:
The carat, generally pertains to the size of the stone.
12:34
Jasmine:
That's right. Yep.
12:36
Dorothy:
Does colour only ever apply to diamonds or does it apply to every gemstone?
12:41
Jasmine:
No. Colour, as far as a grading scale, only applies to diamonds. You start at D which is colourless, and then you run down the alphabet, so the lower you go down the alphabet, the more colour, more tint will be in the diamond.
12:56
Dorothy:
So it might be more white to more yellow.
12:58
Jasmine:
That's correct.
13:00
Dorothy:
And clarity, is that how cloudy a stone is to how clear it is?
13:04
Jasmine:
It's the inclusions that are inside the stone. Again, you've got to remember a natural diamond is grown in nature, so along the way, it might collect a few crystals along the way. Is that a bad thing? I think that's, again, a personal preference. The clarity is graded a lot under your 10X magnification. Again, that's where you can play around a little bit because if you're only going to see it through a 10X magnification and again different clients have varied opinions on where they want to sit on that clarity grade, so...
13:43
Dorothy:
I know some will rank clarity over colour versus colour over clarity, etc. depending on what's more important to you.
13:52
Jasmine:
Yeah. Absolutely. From my perspective, I tend to say to clients, "Choose colour over clarity" purely because it's visual and it's something that you can see whereas the clarity, if you're only going to see it through a 10X magnification, then it's not going to impact the way the ring looks once it's set.
14:11
Dorothy:
Ethical jewellery is a hot topic right now, as it should be. Diamonds particularly are really controversial within that. What do we have to think about when we want an ethical engagement ring, especially with ethical stones and in particular when it comes to diamond or gem sourcing, gold sourcing, etc.?
14:30
Jasmine:
Yeah. As far as diamonds in Australia go, they have to be conflict-free so I don't think clients need to worry so much in that regard, especially if who they're working with are using good local reputable merchants. They have to be conflict-free. Again, a lot of the Australian sapphires now, a lot of them are coming from local miners, so they tend to be mined, cut locally. There's definitely that chain is there, so there's no issues in those supply chains either.
15:08
Dorothy:
Okay. Are there any issues when it comes to choosing metal?
15:12
Jasmine:
No. Again, we do a bit of remodelling where we can recycle, use the clients' gold and things like that as well, if that's something that clients would prefer. It's not always feasible. We would always look at that on a case-by-case scenario because there are things that we have to consider from a manufacturing point of view when reusing gold.
15:37
Dorothy:
Okay. Is it to do with the age and the strength of the gold and the mixes of the gold?
15:44
Jasmine:
It's more the mixes of the gold. Yellow gold tends to be okay, but when it comes to white gold, there's so many variations on different alloys that it's hard to know what's been put in there to convert it to the white. The risk of the metal cracking or doing something through that remelting process is much greater, so not always the best option, unfortunately.
16:11
Dorothy:
Yeah. One of the things I love about Jasmine Fraser, your brand, is that you do the most beautiful coloured rings and jewels. If we're not into diamonds, what are the kinds of things that we consider when it comes to stones in an engagement ring that are worthy of that everyday use?
16:29
Jasmine:
Yeah. Definitely hardness has to be a factor. That's something that we have to take into consideration when it comes to a gemstone in an engagement ring because you are still going to be wearing it every day. The sapphires and rubies, as far as hardness go, are next in line after your diamonds. Obviously, they will withstand that everyday wear and tear. That's why I think the popularity has increased so much over the years, especially in the last four or five years.
Again, I think that's where Instagram and Pinterest have been an amazing source for people to realise that they don't necessarily have to have a diamond. There are other options out there. If you're looking at other things that aren't a sapphire or a ruby, we would generally just discuss with you the best way to wear the piece to ensure that it will last for you.
17:28
Dorothy:
Have you ever had couples that perhaps don't even like the idea of an engagement or wedding ring? What are the kinds of things that they could do as alternatives?
17:37
Jasmine:
Look. Quite often, some clients, depending on their line of work, potentially may not want to have the height of an engagement ring and things like that. Sometimes, we will look at alternatives, whether it's something much lower set or more simple design that they can wear just like an engagement ring. Engagement rings should just reflect you. It's not what people think. There's no rules around what it should be. It should reflect you and if you love it, then that's what matters.
18:13
Dorothy:
And it can be anything you want it to be.
18:14
Jasmine:
Absolutely. Absolutely.
18:17
Jasmine:
So if we're wanting to propose and surprise our partner and sweep them off their feet with a ring, because of course you could just propose without a ring but we're saying we're proposing with a ring, what is the best way to discover what the partner likes without them cottoning on to what we're doing?
18:31
Dorothy:
Yeah, it can be tricky. I guess you get some people that give away a lot of hints, so that definitely helps if there's been a lot of discussions around what it might look like. Obviously on the opposite side, if there's been minimal discussion and you're trying to decide, often, again, it's about sitting down and getting a sense of the client and how will they wear the piece. I think those factors then become a big part of the discussion. Quite often, I would try and potentially keep it on the more simpler side unless I have fairly definite design choices, but we've always done quite well when it's been surprises. I think as long as you get a good understanding of the client and what they may like, I think generally we can get there.
19:34
Dorothy:
If you're planning to propose, it's probably a good idea to pay attention to the metals they wear and the jewellery that they already have I suppose as well?
19:42
Jasmine:
Absolutely. I had a client recently and his partner was away and brought in and showed me what she currently wears. It was huge help!
19:51
Dorothy:
Take a surreptitious photo of what they're wearing.
19:54
Jasmine:
It helps because you get a sense of "Okay, they like finer pieces" or they like a bit of texture or everything's lower set, so maybe we need to be conscious of the height and all those factors. It's a fine line between because sometimes the pieces they may wear are fun, they're now. It may be not what they want long-term, so it's still finding that balance of "Okay, this is a nice direction, but we also have to keep in mind that this is a piece they're going to wear for a very long time."
20:30
Dorothy:
Yup, of course. One of the things you mentioned early was remodelling rings, which I know is something that your team does a lot. Can you tell me a bit more about the option of remodelling perhaps old jewellery into an engagement ring and what that process looks like?
20:45
Jasmine:
Yeah. Often with remodelling, it definitely needs to be come in, bring the pieces in, we need to see what we've got to work with. Again, still a bit of a...... if the client has a bit of a mood board of what they like, because then we can work to see whether what they've got to work with will work in the design aesthetic that they like. Quite often, we would draw sketches from there based on what they have. We would look at "Can we use any of the metal or not?" Definitely, reworking the stones is a great way. They're sitting there and not being worn, then let's recreate them in something that you will.
21:28
Dorothy:
And I feel like it makes it really special and sentimental, too.
21:31
Jasmine:
Absolutely. Quite often, it might be "This piece came from grandma" and all those stories are tied into one, which is beautiful.
21:41
Dorothy:
I love that. I love when jewellery tells a story. You hand it down generation to generation with its story.
21:48
Jasmine:
Absolutely. When you're looking at coming back to purchasing engagement rings, you want to consider that this is a piece potentially that is going to become a family heirloom along the way. What do you want that to look like long-term? My engagement ring is actually my husband's grandmother's ring, so it's from the 1930s and the sentiment behind it, you can't replace that. I think there are definitely things you want to take into consideration when you are purchasing too.
22:25
Dorothy:
When it comes to - we've gotten our engagement ring, I know one of the issues I see a lot of couples having is how do I fit a wedding band to my engagement ring? How do I even purchase an engagement ring? Should it match? Should it not? What do I need to know when it comes to choosing a wedding band for myself and my partner that suits my engagement ring or even in general?
22:46
Jasmine:
Yeah. Again, this is a discussion we have at the engagement ring design point actually, because it's really important. I think, unfortunately, you get caught up in just purchasing the engagement ring and not thinking about what the wedding ring might be. I quite often have that discussion while designing the engagement ring and I guess that's one thing about having something custom-made is we can really think long-term. Even if you're not ready to make the decision on the wedding ring, we can at least make allowances for "Well, maybe it'll be this" or "Maybe it'll be this." At least we're not restricting you when it comes to the wedding ring time.
Quite often if the partner is not involved, I will ensure that it will allow a straight wedding ring to be worn flush up against it so that we're not restricting what then the wedding ring becomes. Those things, they're worn as a pair for much longer than they're worn as a single piece, so it is important to think about the complete look that you want to get to in the end.
23:54
Dorothy:
And you have to think about things like mixed metals and such too, don't you? You can't combine metals often with rings for wearability and such.
24:01
Jasmine:
Absolutely. All those things you do want to consider. I think especially with a custom-made, you can always create something that will fit your engagement ring, but if you can have that discussion at the time of having the engagement ring created, at least when you get to the wedding ring stage, it doesn't limit you in any way.
24:26
Dorothy:
Have you had any couples that have come to you wanting to propose but they don't want to design the ring because they're too scared of the partner not liking it? What are the options if you want to propose but you want something special to do that, but you don't want to commit?
24:44
Jasmine:
There's a few options. I've had clients that will propose with the stone only and then allow the partner to come in and design around the stone. The other option is to do something as simple as what potentially may become their wedding band as the proposal, and then work backwards from there. That's always nice too. On the odd occasion, we might do just a mock-up of something close to what the design might be in the end, so that at least they can do the proposal and then come back and discuss all the finer details as a couple.
25:27
Dorothy:
I love that because you still get the specialness without perhaps the commitment.
25:32
Jasmine:
Yeah, absolutely.
25:33
Dorothy:
To the ring, at least.
25:35
Jasmine:
I think these days, couples are really enjoying doing the process together. It's probably getting close to a 50/50 split I think on doing it on your own versus doing it as a couple. I think both options are beautiful and it's just what suits you as a couple.
26:01
Dorothy:
You also create other beautiful jewels aside from engagement rings and wedding rings. I particularly love your earrings. Is there anything we should think about when it comes to our wedding jewels in general beyond the engagement ring and wedding rings?
26:14
Jasmine:
I guess as far as wedding jewellery goes, I know, again, they can be pieces that can be passed down. I did a beautiful pair of earrings years ago that two sisters decided that they would go halves in and they'd both wear them for their wedding day and then they'd be something that they would pass down and their daughters could wear to their wedding day. I think again it may be something that you want to keep within the family. With weddings, there's a lot of expenses and things like that. When it comes to wedding jewellery, having something made may not be the direction, but it can be something really special moving forward.
26:59
Dorothy:
And it can be something you could wear day-to-day as well, just like your engagement ring.
27:03
Jasmine:
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely
27:07
Dorothy:
Because you've obviously made so many beautiful rings have you had any particularly memorable engagement rings or pieces of jewellery you've worked on for weddings that you've just loved?
27:16
Jasmine:
I love the art deco style. A lot of the bigger art deco plaque design, I love working on those designs. They're the type of pieces, you sit down and you have to think every step ahead to get to the end result, so I really love (that). A lot of those designs definitely stick in my mind. I feel really fortunate. I love what I do. Meeting a couple and having the discussion right from the start and then getting to the end product is always, and still to this day, is just so nice to see that we've created what they will love forever.
27:59
Dorothy:
Do you have this particular stone you adore the most? Like a favourite child.
28:05
Jasmine:
A little bit. Look, I love champagne diamonds. I think that's quite evident across a lot of my social media and my website, but also all the sapphires. I think sapphires have been one of those things that people just didn't realise how many amazing colours they come in. It's been really nice that now, people are looking to explore all these different options. So for me, every day is different. And how can you not love diamonds? I guess I'm very fortunate that I get to work with such a wide variety of stones, so every day is a little bit different and that's what custom work is. It means that even if the designs are similar, there will still be slight differences according to what the client would like.
29:00
Dorothy:
Yeah, yeah. Have you got any last word of advice for us when it comes to engagement rings and wedding rings and wedding day jewels?
29:08
Jasmine:
I think the biggest thing is you want to find someone that you feel comfortable with and that you trust, that you can work with. Especially with a custom piece, I say a little bit of my soul goes into that piece. You'd want to have that connection with the client. I think it's equally as important for the client as it is for the jeweller because I think when you have that connection, you want to create something amazing for them.
29:38
Dorothy:
And you create so many amazing places. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise with us and thank you so much for being our guest today.
29:45
Jasmine:
Thank you so much for having me.
29:50
Dorothy:
We love sparkles, so we have loved chatting to Jasmine today. You can find out more about Jasmine and today's episode over on weddingpodcast.com.au. We have a full written transcript over there for today's show, as well as all the links on how you can find Jasmine and book her to make your own special wedding day sparkles.
Now, we would love your rankings, your ratings, your stars, and your reviews, so hop on over to your favourite podcast platform, hit those stars, write us a review or even drop us an email because we would love your feedback. We have so much more coming with the Feel Good Wedding Podcast and we'll be back in a couple of weeks.